When Your Relationship Hurts.
I have read lots of things about abuses in relationships. I don't mean abuses like oloshi,oloriburuku and co I mean firstly emotional and physical abuse. But today I am talking mainly on the emotional abuse.
You see those guys that typically makes it their life's duty to abuse girls are all of the same kind.They are mostly bullies and these kinds of bullies are not the ones we stand up to and they leave us alone,rather these are the bullies we leave.
The abuse comes in this order.
1. Degrading.
The bullies here just degrade the lady with words and actions. Just imagine a scenario where you have spent the better part of your evening cooking dinner for your guy and he comes in and says: is this how to set the table?Don't you have matching plates and cutlery?That pain u feel at that moment is abuse. Emotional abuse.
And of course later you just make it your duty to get matching plates and cutlery so you can please your guy.
That moment you notice that you keep going out of your way to please you guy,keep your eyes open cos that guy is an abuser.
2. Comparison
You go out with your guy say to a movie and then he checks out a girl(you see him doing this and you either keep quiet cos u don't want to create a scene)and then he looks at you and says: can't you dress sexy like that girl?or can you see that girls nails?Y can't yours be like that,Unkulu,was this not how I was before u come and ask me out?!Why are you trying to change me?!But realistically that shit hurts.I see some people so gaily dressed and I think how on earth to they get to be so beautiful and then you here on the other hand looks to plain!!!
3. Intentional hurt
Some guys are scene creators.They like creating scenes and embarrassing the heck out of someone.Don't you know how to use fork and knife?You go out with him see him checking out a chick and you stylishly reprimand him only for him to shout: What??!! Is it my fault that you don't dress that sexy?They actually know they have hurt you but I bet they just think,that will keep her quiet for the main time.
Thing is it doesn't have to reach the point when the guy lays his hand on you that you have to say he is abusing you,it starts from all these things that you overlook and say it doesn't matter,he is telling me all these because he loves me and wants to be with me.That's a blatant lie
And lastly relationship is a give and take things,you know you are being abused when you are doing all the giving.Check yourself.
You see those guys that typically makes it their life's duty to abuse girls are all of the same kind.They are mostly bullies and these kinds of bullies are not the ones we stand up to and they leave us alone,rather these are the bullies we leave.
The abuse comes in this order.
1. Degrading.
The bullies here just degrade the lady with words and actions. Just imagine a scenario where you have spent the better part of your evening cooking dinner for your guy and he comes in and says: is this how to set the table?Don't you have matching plates and cutlery?That pain u feel at that moment is abuse. Emotional abuse.
And of course later you just make it your duty to get matching plates and cutlery so you can please your guy.
That moment you notice that you keep going out of your way to please you guy,keep your eyes open cos that guy is an abuser.
2. Comparison
You go out with your guy say to a movie and then he checks out a girl(you see him doing this and you either keep quiet cos u don't want to create a scene)and then he looks at you and says: can't you dress sexy like that girl?or can you see that girls nails?Y can't yours be like that,Unkulu,was this not how I was before u come and ask me out?!Why are you trying to change me?!But realistically that shit hurts.I see some people so gaily dressed and I think how on earth to they get to be so beautiful and then you here on the other hand looks to plain!!!
3. Intentional hurt
Some guys are scene creators.They like creating scenes and embarrassing the heck out of someone.Don't you know how to use fork and knife?You go out with him see him checking out a chick and you stylishly reprimand him only for him to shout: What??!! Is it my fault that you don't dress that sexy?They actually know they have hurt you but I bet they just think,that will keep her quiet for the main time.
Thing is it doesn't have to reach the point when the guy lays his hand on you that you have to say he is abusing you,it starts from all these things that you overlook and say it doesn't matter,he is telling me all these because he loves me and wants to be with me.That's a blatant lie
And lastly relationship is a give and take things,you know you are being abused when you are doing all the giving.Check yourself.
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